It’s Wednesday. Tonight there will be a drawing for the biggest lottery jackpot in the history of the world, an estimated 1.4 billion dollars. As I’m typing this, people are standing in lines all over the country, hoping to buy the one lucky ticket that will change their lives forever. I guess most of us wonder what we would do if we were suddenly wealthy. We dream of new cars and new houses and trips around the world. We dream of being able to afford to fix things when they break.
My husband bought a couple of tickets for this giant jackpot, just because it’s fun to dream. I try to get into the spirit of his dream, but I fear I jinx his chances. The truth is, I would not want to win the biggest jackpot in the history of the world. I would like to be able to fix things when they break, but I have no desire to be rich enough to buy a senator.
Well, maybe just a congress person from a small district, after taxes. The point is, big money is a big responsibility and I don’t want that burden on my shoulders. I’ve watched “The Lottery Changed My Life” and I’ve seen way too many stories of conflict and heartache following a big win. None of those wins was as big as the jackpot that could be won tonight. This one could be won by a giant office pool and everybody in the pool would be able to call in rich tomorrow morning.
My husband is retired and I make tie-dye for a living (okay, not a living; a pittance, but still…). We don’t need to call in rich tomorrow morning. I imagine how I would feel if I won that big jackpot and “thrilled” is not the word that comes to mind. I think “anxious” is a bit closer to the mark. Perhaps “terrified” would be even more accurate. If I had that kind of money, I would want to use it to do good but doing good can be tricky. Sometimes the best-intentioned actions have unexpected consequences.
I like having a simple, anonymous life. I wonder what it would be like to be rich, but I don’t really want to know. I’m comfortable with getting by on very little. I’m good at it. Being rich would take me way out of my comfort zone, so I hope the lottery fairy overlooks my husband’s quick-pick numbers and gives the win to a large group of folks working for some heartless corporation. My husband doesn’t read my blog, so he won’t know I’m jinxing his chances.
Please don’t tell him. Let him dream.